When I entered primary school in the early 90s, apartheid in South Africa was coming to an end, and I was growing into a shy, studious girl unaware of the challenges facing my family and society at large. During apartheid, the country was riddled with discrimination and division; families were torn apart, lives were lost, and great sorrow filled the air. The exact words on my birth certificate from 1985 sadly say I was born “as a white person.” I could never imagine the impact apartheid had on those segregated and separated. As a child, I began to observe cultural and racial diversity and also huge differences in the socio-economic backgrounds of my friends at my primary school.
To a large extent, being ‘white’, my family escaped much of what was going on during apartheid. Yet times were pretty tough (and still are!) for women with rogue husbands doing it alone. Heaven knows how, but my mother worked very hard (as a secretary) to get me through school and university with very little help at all and no government aid for single mothers. I am one of the only people on my mother’s side of the family to go to university (at 18, my mother was offered a scholarship to study at the University of Cape Town but had to decline it as she was forced to work to support the family). My grandmother, the matriarch of the family, worked tirelessly at a local supermarket for most of her working life until her retirement when I was in high school.
For many years I didn’t quite ‘get’ the impact of all of this (especially in my wilder partying years during my time at Stellenbosch University). Now that I am a mom and businesswoman, I’ve become more understanding and exceptionally grateful to these two incredible women. Not only did they bring me up, but they were also able to inspire and instil in me a wonderful sense of passion and love of life. They taught me to never give up no matter what, as there’s always a way to get where you want to be. As long as you have the right mindset, you can achieve anything.
International Women’s Day is coming up this Wednesday, and I want to reach out to all moms — no matter who you are, a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, a single mom, etc. — you are freaking incredible and don’t ever let anyone tell you any differently. No matter what your situation is and what challenges you’re facing, you will overcome them. Mindset is everything.
Sidenote: a DNA test interestingly revealed, in addition to my obvious European ancestry, a range of incredible influences from my mother’s side — from India, Cameroon, and the Congo — those enslaved and once brought to South Africa, all living inside me and fueling me on in tough times.